Some Say Top Privilege, Others Say Bottom Invasion
Author: M. G.
Thursday 19th of September 2013 12:11:36 PM

This morning I was reading an article on the Huffington Post website about anthropological and behavioural differences between top and bottom gay men - a.k.a. who f**ks and who is f***d during gay intercourse. The author is the super nice journalist and HIV/AIDS activist Zach Stafford and he lists many, as he called them, "top privileges", which means some of the good things about being a top that bottom people can't enjoy.

One of the most evident is that top men are free of eating whatever they want before having sex, while bottoms have to think about what they're eating if they're also planning to have sex in the next few hours - true story.

Another huge difference is the HIV infection risk level related to the two different roles: being a bottom is more than ten times riskier than being a top because the skin in the 'hole of pleasure' is more easily torn than that of the penis. If you bottom with somebody you don't know, always use a condom, OK?

Where I don't agree with lovely Zach is when he says that the world of gay online dating is now full of top people, since being top is more masculine and masculine guys are hotter than feminine. Please Zach, take a trip to Europe, since lately - which actually means since a couple of years already - we are experiencing a worrying lack of 'tops'. Obviously you can still find huge truck drivers, masters or farmer-like people, that will never reject their vocation of being a top. But if you have a look at the community of average gay guys, neither very feminine or masculine, you will not find so many tops.

This is also why if you're top you're mostly considered as a dildo with a human body attached to it, rather than a person with a penis. Not to mention the general expectation of being the jackhammer for your 10-minutes-trip to heaven.

Finally, since we are talking about online dating like Grindr and the like, I believe that they're limiting the general sexual fantasies: being versatile, which is the third option, the one that does not reject anything, is the real exception. It's fun talking about top, bottom and being masculine or feminine but, seriously, I think that really attractive people are those that don't fit any category and who have a character to show, rather than a role.

By the way, the worst turn-off still is -and always will be-: "Do you have a condom?" "No I don't, but who cares?!" "You douche!".

 

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